And So We Start The First Step Towards Adoption.....

http://www.giveforward.com/adoptionofbabymartinez2013 I don't ever admit defeat. I don't ever ask for help either. So, why am I doing it now? I guess because I'm tired. It's been a long journey, and while it's not even close to over, I need some help to keep going. 14 years of infertility would normally wear a person down. And I won't say that I'm not worn out by it. But it takes a strong person to keep going through all of the poking, prodding, needles, invasive tests, and miscarriages..... Yep, I'm patting myself on the back. That's another thing I don't usually do. We've decided that adoption is probably our best option for completing our family. We've always said that we were going to do it, but for some reason, the hubby insisted that we try to have a biological child first. After everything, we kept trying and trying because he kept saying he wanted a biological child first. Well, here we are 14 years later with empty arms and an empty house. So, it's been decided that when we get to our next duty station we're going to try to adopt. That's all well and good, and we're beyond excited but adoption cost so much money. It's really expensive. That's another reason why we've been putting it off. Adoption of a baby can run up to $45,000. There are some that say that if you can't afford to adopt, then you can't afford children at all. Those are the same people who got pregnant on the first month of trying and gave birth to a healthy baby. I mean, what NORMAL person has $45,000 in their bank account to just hand over to an adoption agency?!?! Well, we don't. We've decided to save most of my personal paychecks and to also try to get a personal loan to finance our adoption. But we have to decide what kind of adoption we want to go with first. Either way, I've decided to do one of those online fundraisers to help with the costs. I don't expect to raise the full amount. I'm just hoping to raise enough to do the home study. From there, we'll apply for grants and loans. I'm also happy that I talked to a good friend about doing an auction. Now I need to gather up everyone I know who's selling anything to maybe donate. I'm also going to see about donating some unused things of my own. I'm hoping it all works out and we can go through with the adoption without completely going into debt. We've already spent so much on fertility treatments and meds. Thankfully, we have good friends and family to help us through this. Once again: Here's the link to our online fundraiser (http://www.giveforward.com/adoptionofbabymartinez2013) and I'll keep everyone informed of the auction whenever we get it going.

An Angel and some Baby Names

Well, the other day the Marine and I were at our first appointment at the NIH, and the lady was asking about baby names. I of course told her my two names (to be mentioned much later). It seems like the Marine is totally onboard with the girl name, but not so much with the boy name I'd picked. I absolutely adore every name I'd picked. I think we spent most of the day arguing about it, but it was so much fun, and so sweet to even think about it again. But, on another note, we headed to Tyson's Mall after our appointment with the high risk OBGYN today. We went into the Christmas store and bought a few ornaments. We got one for each of us, we picked one up for the dogs, and we picked one up for our little Angel in heaven, Audrey. It's been three years since we lost her, and this is the first time we're actually doing something in her honor. It's not that we haven't wanted to before, but it's been so hard. We love her and we miss her all the time. It hit us both really hard, but at the same time, she had a reason for coming into our lives when she did. It's just really sad that she's not still here. She's our angel. R.I.P. baby girl. We love you.

So, I'm a National Case Study....

With everything that's been going on with my body, my doctor at the Naval Hospital decided to send me to the NIH to see if there's any experimental thing that they think would help me out. So far, I'm just in the blood work phase, but when we move past it, they're going to start studying me. Just a recap: From 1999 until 2011, I've had about 15 miscarriages. Yep. 15. The Marine and I have decided to try an IUI cycle, but we're in disagreement as to WHEN we should do it. I want to do it in the next month or two. He wants to wait until the spring. He only wants to wait because he's terrified that I'll get sick and lose another baby. I can't say that I blame him. I'm afraid too, but I figure we'll give it a try now, and if it doesn't work, we'll continue with our plans for next summer. Here's to hoping............

It Hurts Like Hell!!

I had a tooth pulled on Wednesday and it hurts like hell. I swear, next time I need an extraction, I'm going to one of those dentists that knock you out first! This lady didn't numb me enough before she started drilling and tugging. Then, she couldn't get it out so she kept pausing to take x-rays. It was so frustrating. Then she finally numbed me too much and my whole face was swollen, not to mention the intense headache I got on my right side from being filled with too much liquid. My ear is still draining and three days later it still hurts like hell! On a better note: The Marine's been taking care of me. He finds it weird that he'll walk into a room and find me in different positions and sometimes laid out on the floor in nothing but underwear and a heating pad on my face. Still, he'll set out dinner, open my pain meds, and make sure I'm not dead before returning to his corner of the house. It's all very sweet and I love him for it.

Cruise to Nowhere

So, last week the hubby texts me about a $100 cruise to Nowhere leaving out of Baltimore. He gets me all excited about it and so I immediately start looking into it. Of course I'm on the phone with my good friend D.C. when I get the text so I'm telling her about it while I research. Finally, we decide that we want to go, but we want others to go too. So we start texting people while we plan it out. In the end, it's me, the Marine, D.C. and her hubby C.C., and my sister M.G. and her on again off again boyfriend L.H and his daughter, little L.H. Everything started off all well and good. We packed and picked up our friends and headed for the ship on Friday afternoon. We get there, check in, and head to our rooms. Everything's still all well and good until we decide that we're hungry and head up to the Lido deck for lunch. All hell breaks loose, and so does my tooth! As soon as I bite into my hotdog, I'm fighting back the tears. Luckily, we're still in port and my sister is way behind, so I text her and ask her to bring some pain meds when she comes. And..... SHE DOES! M.G. comes aboard with a big magic bottle of Aleive and it helps so much along with the hot tea and hot chocolate. So, thanks to her, I'm not completely miserable on this weekend cruise. We have fun though. We drink, we gamble, and some of us have dinner together in different intervals. The Marine and L.H. spent an afternoon in the sports bar drinking and watching the game, and then D.C. begged him to take her hubby up there so that she can have a few minutes alone. Later on, me and M.G. were hanging out talking on the Lido deck where we met up with D.C and C.C. and we sat and talked for hours about life and family and our plans for the holidays. It was really fun, but I wish we had more time to sit back and enjoy it. I mean, the service was horrible and I let Carnival know that I didn't appreciate it, but hanging out with friends and family is always great!