Headaches, Adoption, and Fertility Statues!

So, I have a headache.... LoL! But the bigger story is that I finally rubbed the fertility statues at Ripley's Believe It Or Not in Orlando. If you don't know the story, apparently, the legendary fertility statues have been credited with more than 2,000 pregnancies while on display at Ripley’s attractions around the world. I rubbed them on October 9th, 2013. 5 days after our 13th wedding anniversary. Today is October 28th, and there's nothing happening. I've read a few stories of women finding out they're pregnant anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months after rubbing the statues. I'm not holding my breath that it will actually work for me, but it doesn't hurt to hope.... Well, I guess it does. I've been hoping upon hope for 14 years and so far, I've got nothing. It's past time to put those hopes towards something else, and I can't wait to get this adoption process started. Step one is doing the home study, and I'm doing that as soon as I get into a home. We're leaving for Hawaii in 3 days and when I return in December, I'm starting the process. Actually, I'm hoping to start it before then and just file in paperwork upon my return. Anyway, that's my word for the night. My headache is getting the best of me.

Weird Adoption Pages.....

So, as we get closer to moving I'm looking more into adoption agencies and Facebook pages/groups. I've ran into so many weird groups as well as some helpful ones. I joined one where they talk about adoption scams and it freaks me out! In most states, you're expected to pay on top of the regular adoption fees of about $20,000 an extra $10,000 to the birth mother for expenses related to the pregnancy. That's completely understandable.... BUT...... If you give the birthmother any expenses and she decides to change her mind, then you're out those $10,000 no exceptions. And it's scary that so many women seem to know that and will fake a pregnancy or even have a real pregnancy where they don't intend to give up their child and will say they will just to get the money. It's crazy and it's scary and it's really making me think twice about adopting even through an agency. The money is such a huge issue with me and the hubby. While we both want an infant in our home, we just don't want to go through the heartache of being scammed out of money that we just don't have. So, we've been talking more about foster care adoption. It's going to be hard to do though if we're not together. He will be stationed in Hawaii, and I plan to get a home in Florida or Georgia in an attempt to get settled in before his retirement. In most cases, both potential parents have to go through a series of interviews and classes before being allowed to bring a child into the home. With him gone, it's not going to happen. So, I don't know where we are right now. I guess I'll just keep researching and praying that things work out for the best.

May 30th = The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Well, I've decided to do weightloss surgery and the process has been a bitch! LoL! I can't lie! I picked a date, filled out the paperwork, and did everything I was supposed to, then.... Tricare denied it! Apparently, I can't get the gastric sleeve because they don't cover that. Plus, there was a mini crisis with my heart and my thyroid. Went to the caridologist and everything turned out to be fine. I had a heart scan, an echo-something, and it was really cool to look at. Everything looked good, so when I went in for my appointment today, I signed the paperwork, and scheduled a preop appointment to check into the hospital for my surgery. The doctor told me that since I'm not as overly heavy as most of his patients, he expects me to be at my new goal weight by the end of the year. Here's to new jeans, sexy dresses, and hot lingerie with beautiful stilettos! I'll be starting our life in Hawaii on an excellent note!

Something To Do

I need something to do. The hubby and I are planning to fill our May with loads of fun before he leaves for more training with the Marine Corps and I get my surgery. Last night, we were checking out Kings Dominion. We did Busch Gardens a few years ago, so Kings Dominion is our choice for a day of fun. We also want to go up to Niagara Falls for a weekend while we're close enough to enjoy it. Either way, we want to get out and do a little traveling before we get too busy again. We love to travel, and hopefully next year we have a couple of kids to bring along with us. In 2015, we're planning a big 3 week trip to Europe, if we can still manage to get there for free. We love to travel. It's our thing. If we go a year without going anywhere, it's only because we're really forced to stay where we're at, or we're moving.

Just Joined Instagram like 5 Minutes Ago!

Yeah, I'm late, but I just joined Instagram. Still no idea how to work it, and I'm kinda lost on the idea of Twitter as well. So, I'll stick mostly to Facebook for now as I've completely given up on Myspace. So, if the link above works, follow me!

An Interesting Turn of Events

I was talking with my BMIM family about my lack of patience with this process. At this point I am more than ready to have a baby on the way. The only thing stopping me is money, time, and the military! LoL! So, while we're waiting for orders to our next duty station so that we can start the adoption process, I started talking to my extended family about surrogacy and gestational carriers. You have to understand something about my BMIM (Beautiful Military Interracial Marriages) family.... These men and women are the best of the best. Everyone is extremely sweet, kind, giving, and loving. I love them all to death. They've supported me to the fullest with everything, and now that I'm thinking of surrogacy on top of adoption, I'm excited at the prospect of having TWO kids next year! Rob and I are fully committed to the adoption process. So, don't think that if we decide to pursue surrogacy that we're going to change our minds about adoption. That's NOT going to happen. It's the very first thing we're going to do when we get our orders and move. Before we even unpack, we're going to apply to an adoption agency and start the home study process.... BUT, we're now officially starting to talk about surrogacy as well and we have 2 beautiful and generous women that we want to be our carriers. I think it'll be a really beautiful thing to expand our family in every way possible. Now I can fully understand Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's thinking when they started their family. We haven't made a decision yet, but I can't wait to see how this plays out!

Just Fun!

I must admit that I'm the type of person who loves to have fun. I love to travel and see interesting things. That's probably one of the main things me and the hubby have in common. We love it! And we love our crew and extended military/work family. We're constantly planning different things to do, and looking to invite everyone along. We've found that if we go somewhere and do something seriously fun and don't at least invite people, they seem to get really offended. LoL! But we don't mind having people with us. It actually makes it a lot more fun. Like, today we went to tour the Capitol building with some of the crew. We had a friggin blast as usual! We're already planning our next gathering and I can't wait!

Cranky Much?

My husband is a friggin clean freak. It kind of balances me out because even though I won't let the house get nasty and disgusting, I really don't mind a mess. And since we've been married, we had an agreement that as long as I'm home, the house will be decently clean (meaning more to his standards and one or two days to mine). So, since I've been working, I must admit that my husband has taken over most of my kitchen duties. He's pretty good at cooking, cleaning and keeping everything organized. The thing that bugs me is that he doesn't do it without complaint. It kind of makes me mad that he refers to it as being my "job". As a matter of fact, everything around this house is referred to as my "job". Like, seriously? Is this the 50's? Better yet, is this slavery? And then he gets really mad when I do my Slave/Master routine. That's probably one thing that I know pisses of my husband more than anything in the world. And I'll admit, that's why I do it. I only do it when I'm mad in order to get him mad..... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. It's unhealthy for my marriage to antagonize my husband. Whatever! But I have to give him credit. Even though he complains and his complaints grate on my nerves like nothing else I'd ever known, he's picking up the slack around here. I really appreciate that. It's always really sexy when I come home and my man is in the kitchen making dinner and joking around with me. But those days that I'm overwhelmed from working, errands, and other things and he tells me that I haven't done my job.... Well, sometimes I want to knuckle punch him in the nuts! Don't get me wrong. I really, really love my husband, but those moments where a clean house matters more than my health and sanity drives me crazy. And soon I'm going to be having surgery (hopefully), going back to school which is going to add to my stress, and we're going to be moving, and hopefully we're going to be starting the adoption process. Life is getting busier than ever and while I love that we're closer to getting to our end goal (starting a family, his retirement from the military, and my new career), it's hard to make him understand that my whole life doesn't revolve around cleaning the damn house! Have you ever had one of these overwhelming days?

Hurtful? Yeah, But I Don't Care....

So, I've gotten tons of questions asking why we're adopting, and why don't we just keep trying for a biological child. That's a little irritating at this point, but understandable. I understand that people are going to ask questions and make comments, but what I don't understand are the stupid ones. The unnecessary racist ones. My marriage is sacred. I love my husband, and it never mattered to us that we're an interracial couple. And it doesn't matter to our friends either. So, I guess I shouldn't be as upset and hurt as I am right now. Everyone that matters to me in life are extra supportive and that's all I can ask for. We will bring children into our little interracial marriage, and they will be any race and biracial as well. And for the person that said to me biracial children are evil and unnatural. Well, you can go to hell!

Just amazing!

I have to admit that I'm still just amazed at the response we've gotten from family and friends when we announced that we were adopting. We have one group who's already organizing a Diaper Collection, another group suggested that I start an online baby registry so that those who want to buy and donate baby items can do so, as well as a few friends giving me ideas to put together for an auction to help with funding. Not only that, but there are a few who've suggested small jobs on the side of my real job to help offset some of the costs. There's no denying that I hated putting myself out there. We just don't do that. For fourteen years, we've been trying to do things on our own. It's nice to know that we have the support of our family and friends. I'm just hoping that with everything else going on in our lives, we can get this accomplished by the end of the year.

And So We Start The First Step Towards Adoption.....

http://www.giveforward.com/adoptionofbabymartinez2013 I don't ever admit defeat. I don't ever ask for help either. So, why am I doing it now? I guess because I'm tired. It's been a long journey, and while it's not even close to over, I need some help to keep going. 14 years of infertility would normally wear a person down. And I won't say that I'm not worn out by it. But it takes a strong person to keep going through all of the poking, prodding, needles, invasive tests, and miscarriages..... Yep, I'm patting myself on the back. That's another thing I don't usually do. We've decided that adoption is probably our best option for completing our family. We've always said that we were going to do it, but for some reason, the hubby insisted that we try to have a biological child first. After everything, we kept trying and trying because he kept saying he wanted a biological child first. Well, here we are 14 years later with empty arms and an empty house. So, it's been decided that when we get to our next duty station we're going to try to adopt. That's all well and good, and we're beyond excited but adoption cost so much money. It's really expensive. That's another reason why we've been putting it off. Adoption of a baby can run up to $45,000. There are some that say that if you can't afford to adopt, then you can't afford children at all. Those are the same people who got pregnant on the first month of trying and gave birth to a healthy baby. I mean, what NORMAL person has $45,000 in their bank account to just hand over to an adoption agency?!?! Well, we don't. We've decided to save most of my personal paychecks and to also try to get a personal loan to finance our adoption. But we have to decide what kind of adoption we want to go with first. Either way, I've decided to do one of those online fundraisers to help with the costs. I don't expect to raise the full amount. I'm just hoping to raise enough to do the home study. From there, we'll apply for grants and loans. I'm also happy that I talked to a good friend about doing an auction. Now I need to gather up everyone I know who's selling anything to maybe donate. I'm also going to see about donating some unused things of my own. I'm hoping it all works out and we can go through with the adoption without completely going into debt. We've already spent so much on fertility treatments and meds. Thankfully, we have good friends and family to help us through this. Once again: Here's the link to our online fundraiser (http://www.giveforward.com/adoptionofbabymartinez2013) and I'll keep everyone informed of the auction whenever we get it going.

An Angel and some Baby Names

Well, the other day the Marine and I were at our first appointment at the NIH, and the lady was asking about baby names. I of course told her my two names (to be mentioned much later). It seems like the Marine is totally onboard with the girl name, but not so much with the boy name I'd picked. I absolutely adore every name I'd picked. I think we spent most of the day arguing about it, but it was so much fun, and so sweet to even think about it again. But, on another note, we headed to Tyson's Mall after our appointment with the high risk OBGYN today. We went into the Christmas store and bought a few ornaments. We got one for each of us, we picked one up for the dogs, and we picked one up for our little Angel in heaven, Audrey. It's been three years since we lost her, and this is the first time we're actually doing something in her honor. It's not that we haven't wanted to before, but it's been so hard. We love her and we miss her all the time. It hit us both really hard, but at the same time, she had a reason for coming into our lives when she did. It's just really sad that she's not still here. She's our angel. R.I.P. baby girl. We love you.

So, I'm a National Case Study....

With everything that's been going on with my body, my doctor at the Naval Hospital decided to send me to the NIH to see if there's any experimental thing that they think would help me out. So far, I'm just in the blood work phase, but when we move past it, they're going to start studying me. Just a recap: From 1999 until 2011, I've had about 15 miscarriages. Yep. 15. The Marine and I have decided to try an IUI cycle, but we're in disagreement as to WHEN we should do it. I want to do it in the next month or two. He wants to wait until the spring. He only wants to wait because he's terrified that I'll get sick and lose another baby. I can't say that I blame him. I'm afraid too, but I figure we'll give it a try now, and if it doesn't work, we'll continue with our plans for next summer. Here's to hoping............

It Hurts Like Hell!!

I had a tooth pulled on Wednesday and it hurts like hell. I swear, next time I need an extraction, I'm going to one of those dentists that knock you out first! This lady didn't numb me enough before she started drilling and tugging. Then, she couldn't get it out so she kept pausing to take x-rays. It was so frustrating. Then she finally numbed me too much and my whole face was swollen, not to mention the intense headache I got on my right side from being filled with too much liquid. My ear is still draining and three days later it still hurts like hell! On a better note: The Marine's been taking care of me. He finds it weird that he'll walk into a room and find me in different positions and sometimes laid out on the floor in nothing but underwear and a heating pad on my face. Still, he'll set out dinner, open my pain meds, and make sure I'm not dead before returning to his corner of the house. It's all very sweet and I love him for it.

Cruise to Nowhere

So, last week the hubby texts me about a $100 cruise to Nowhere leaving out of Baltimore. He gets me all excited about it and so I immediately start looking into it. Of course I'm on the phone with my good friend D.C. when I get the text so I'm telling her about it while I research. Finally, we decide that we want to go, but we want others to go too. So we start texting people while we plan it out. In the end, it's me, the Marine, D.C. and her hubby C.C., and my sister M.G. and her on again off again boyfriend L.H and his daughter, little L.H. Everything started off all well and good. We packed and picked up our friends and headed for the ship on Friday afternoon. We get there, check in, and head to our rooms. Everything's still all well and good until we decide that we're hungry and head up to the Lido deck for lunch. All hell breaks loose, and so does my tooth! As soon as I bite into my hotdog, I'm fighting back the tears. Luckily, we're still in port and my sister is way behind, so I text her and ask her to bring some pain meds when she comes. And..... SHE DOES! M.G. comes aboard with a big magic bottle of Aleive and it helps so much along with the hot tea and hot chocolate. So, thanks to her, I'm not completely miserable on this weekend cruise. We have fun though. We drink, we gamble, and some of us have dinner together in different intervals. The Marine and L.H. spent an afternoon in the sports bar drinking and watching the game, and then D.C. begged him to take her hubby up there so that she can have a few minutes alone. Later on, me and M.G. were hanging out talking on the Lido deck where we met up with D.C and C.C. and we sat and talked for hours about life and family and our plans for the holidays. It was really fun, but I wish we had more time to sit back and enjoy it. I mean, the service was horrible and I let Carnival know that I didn't appreciate it, but hanging out with friends and family is always great!

A Hurricane's A Comin!!

This song was playing in my head yesterday when we were prepping for the hurricane and I almost set the house on fire. I was doing a hundred things at once and I foolishly turned my back on the grease I had in a pot and it caught fire. Of course I had my own Sims moment where I just pointed at it and danced around. Good thing my Marine was home. He smothered it and put it out. He saved the day!

On another note, we're getting ready to sit through Hurricane Sandy, and we've already sent word out that we'll have game night by candlelight with our friends if the power goes out. So far, we have a few takers so we'll be camping out in the living room and playing games, and probably cooking out when the storm passes.

To Tree or Not to Tree? That is the Question....

It has become tradition in our house to set up the Christmas Tree on November 1st. This way, we can have the holiday spirit in our house just a little longer before taking it down by January 2nd. But this year, I'm not sure if I even want a tree. The hubby asked why, and I had to tell him that I'm not in the spirit for one this year, and if it doesn't go up on November 1st, then it's not going up at all. So, the only question now is if I'm going to be in the mood. I guess we'll see.

The Paranormal vs Bunny Rabbits

Well, the hubby officially thinks I'm a freak. The neighbor's rabbit got out of their yard and hid underneath my car. I was all set to just leave him there, but nope, the hubby wanted to get him out. He asked for my help, and I was willing to do it to an extent. I stood on one side of my car to help block the rabbit, while he tried to scare it out of the other side. What happens then? It gets out where neither of us are looking. Then, knowing that I'm terrified of only two things, he tells me, "The rabbit is sitting right next to you." So of course I jump and scream a little and try to shake it off. He swears that I have to be the only person who'd deathly afraid of bunny rabbits and butterflies, and he doesn't understand how this could be when I can watch scary movies for days and not blink. I guess I am a freak!

What the Hell. It's Saturday......

I don't know what it is, but the days always seem longer when my Marine is gone. He left for West Virginia tody to go to Haper's Ferry or something to do an adventure. I figured I'd have a productive day. Clean, write, watch a movie, and sped some quality time with the fur babies. Well, no. I slept a few extra hours, straightened up a little, and maybe wrote a paragraph towards my book. I talked on the phone with my mother, and I fretted a little about how I'm wasting my life and my Saturday is so boring. The thing is, I was invited to go on a spontaneous road trip to PA to a haunted house. To know me, is to know that I LOVE anything paranormal. But with money being so tight in the house right now, I couldn't go. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "He's in Harper's Ferry having fun and you're sitting at home bored to death, making sure his football game is being recorded so he can watch later?" Yes. I am. Despite what my husband says, I'm a damn good wife, and he's lucky to have me. I do a good majority of things in this house and he'd be lost without me. That being said, I do things outside of my domain as well. I already have plans with a couple of girlfriends to check out the new P.F. Chang's that just opened up around the corner. We're also going to check out a few of the stores. But, I digress.... My point is.... I'm bored. And I wouldn't be if I wasn't such a procrastinator, I guess. I have a million things to do, and I had every opportunity to do them today, but yet, I'm blogging about what I should be doing instead of doing it. Priorities are all screwed up today. But what the hell, it's Saturday.

The Military Lifestyle....

Before I head out for the afternoon, I just wanted to say something about the military lifestyle that only military families seem to understand..... IT'S HARD!!! Deployments, deaths, moving around a lot, trying to find a job, balancing out a marriage and a family when your spouse is off fighting a war.... It's just hard. And all people see from the outside is the glamorous parts: Marine Corps Balls with ball gowns and Dress Blues, homecomings with joyous reunions, high paychecks and big bonuses..... HOLD ON! I know most of you military people are like, "Did she just say high paychecks and big bonuses?".... Yep. I did! For some reason, people (including politicians) seem to think that our military members get paid more than they do. Maybe the politicians think that because they hang around Colin Powell or some shit that every other member makes his kind of money.... Well, Colin Powell will let you know that he didn't get rich in the military. He got rich afterwards. But, I digress..... There is one really big positive that I absolutely LOVE about the military lifestyle, and that's my extended family. I don't have any biological children yet, but I have a beautiful godson, and lots of other kids that call me Aunty besides my own nieces and nephews. I have a lot of surrogate brothers and sisters, and I even have a 2nd hubby! Once you make that connection with someone, they become your family. They understand what you've gone through or what you're going through. They understand the military lifestyle and they bond with you over it. I have such good friends, and I love them all. Each and every one of my friends know about my fertility struggles. It's something that I'm very open about now. And each and every one of them are encouraging me, and listens when I cry or I'm upset. I even have spouses that I haven't even met in person writing me and sending me loving words. I'm hoping that one day we come face to face and I'm able to give them a heartfelt hug. Even though there's some things that really piss me off, and some people in this lifestyle that I just want to kick in the face, I have to thank God for those who are still in my life.... And I hope to see all of them (and I do mean EVERYBODY) at my anniversary party in 2015!